An Intro: The past month

So my little hiatus lasted a little longer than planned. But that's ok, I'm here now and want to start back with a small intro to the next few posts.

1) I got engaged! Holy crap was this a total 360 in my life. Luke proposed at his birthday party (end of April) I hosted for him after blowing out the candle (I actually forgot candles for his cake and had him blow out a giant yankee candle lol). It was so lovely to have our friends and family there. I am so so thrilled. No, there is no date yet, my focus is my last semester of college!

 

Baby Z's third ride!

2) Ponies are doing swell. Baby Z has been rocking baby boot camp and I've even ridden him twice now! He comes home in about two weeks. Mae has been a little brat and I haven't gotten to ride her yet, she needs to graduate from my stop-being-a-brat-about-work groundwork bootcamp. Vermont has been a super steady guy and very easy for rides. Merlot definitely is showing his green side but so so willing (and gorgeous to look at omg). And finally, Evita has been my rock and so much fun.

3) I finished my second to last semester of college with a fantastic GPA. My work continues to be nice and they even gave me an internship for summer to get some credits knocked out. I'm looking forward to my future outside of college.

90 Degrees Right

 

I made a major life change lately. I really haven't had a real job since I quit my receptionist job for my stepdad back in May of last year.

I took the time to really focus on school and took two summer classes. My main income came from Mr. Visa and house sitting.

I am in an insane amount of credit card debt from that stint. I don't necessarily regret my choice, because lord knows I need to graduate so bad. But my plans to work on a business with my horse trainer hasn't really panned out yet. As much as I also enjoyed house sitting when I just rented a room in a shared house, living and managing a ten acre property and 5-10 of my horse trainer's retirees made house sitting for her and the boarders at her house extremely stressful and time consuming.

So after 8 months of being without a direct deposit, I have a job again. I'm no longer house sitting. I am working in the finance industry and hoping that when I graduate I can move up in the organization. Last week was my first week and a major struggle for my time management. Before I started working I was already struggling with the whole full time school and horses bit. But I tend to thrive on a busy schedule and really need the income so I'm going to make it work. Also, killing the house sitting time commitment and time spent driving back and forth in my car reduces a lot of stress and frees up part of my schedule.

I'm excited and nervous. I'm not going to be a 100% engaged student anymore, but really I don't need A's, I need a diploma. So cheers to life changes and putting in the work to get shit done.

Goings on.

 

I know, I know my blog has been kind of off the radar and super depressing and boring lately. But that is kind of how my life is going. My semester is starting to wrap up and mentally I'm getting back to a new normal.  

I'm staying in my once a week jump lessons and those have been going well. I haven't been riding my own horses like at all. They still get plenty of love and attention and get turned out all the time though-don't worry. But now that I'm slowly getting to a better place mentally I can bring my horses back into the mix and really work hard on my riding goals. 

 

As I'm sure you all saw (because I went with L and shes way better than I am and already posted) I went to the Friday of Breeder's Cup. That was super fun and I want to get more involved in spectating large equestrian events. 

Other large things that have been happening is that I'm now 2 weekends in to the USDF "L" program. If you have even a chance to audit I would highly recommend it. I'm not fooling anyone by saying I'm an active candidate to graduate (have to have 3 scores at 3rd level) but the first half of the program is "good" for 5 years so it is a major goal of mine to graduate entirely from the program. I have access to some really nicely trained horses so this isn't too far of a stretch if I work really hard on getting riding in whenever possible. 

My goals for the rest of the year include catching up on reading blogs (I'm refusing to skip ahead because I'm no cheater lol), catching up on writing my own posts, and getting back into regular riding. Winter is coming and I'm refusing to let the threat of bad weather to ruin my chances of riding.

Coping

I had a post written 100% about being whiny and having feelings but that is super lame. So instead I want to share what makes me happy and helping me get through not being able to do jack shit.

1) Knowing Riesling is sound and that I put so much effort into his happiness has paid off. It'll be a little while before we are back into work unfortunately, but at least I know he is happy and sound. 

2) Reading. I'm always trying so hard to do things that when I can't I have so much beautiful time to read on theories and applications. I am so eager to apply this in the saddle.

3) Online shopping. I love good deals and I'm relatively poor right now so saving money and getting things are a double whammy win for me. 

4) PUPPER. It is seriously killing me waiting to go pick her up. Plus, I should be able to get a leg up and get to hack around bareback on Merlot! Also I can sit in the baby horse pasture and force them to love me. Animals really are my entire life. Tomorrow is going to be epic (either fail or win..regardless entertaining). 

Answers

But this time not for Riesling, instead, for me. I have been struggling a lot lately with being tired. And I know that is easy for a college student to say. But this is an ungodly amount. I would sleep 10+ hours and still be tired. Id take multiple 2 hour naps in a day. I always just thought I had an unusual love for sleep.

I've been like this since high school. I took a two hour nap daily after I got home from school. When first seeing a physician my freshman year of college for depression and anxiety I had a full blood panel done indicating I was anemic as a result of super low iron levels. I've been taking iron for the past few years and that had a huge effect on my alertness. But yet I still found myself incredibly exhausted all the time.

Unfortunately this started to get dangerous. Last summer I started falling asleep at my desk. Annoying, but something that shouldn't be happening after an adequate amount of sleep. Then I started falling asleep while driving home from work. I thought I was just tired after a long 8 hours, but it was still terrifying to be wide awake and then all of a sudden not be able to control my eyelids.

I started seeking medical attention when I would fall asleep at the wheel during the middle of the day. Morning, noon, or afternoon, I could be driving along, awake as a squirrel, and next thing be seconds away from a collision. The scariest part was I couldn't see it coming and I couldn't stop it. If I was on the freeway, I'd have to get off on the next exit, pull into a parking lot, and walk around.

When I started having to drive parts around during the day for work, I can't tell you how I thought for sure my job was on the line and someone would call into my work and report my sudden haphazard driving. I already have terrible anxiety, and these situations would leave me in tears as soon as I was safe at my destination.

My regular physician referred me to a psychiatrist to get her opinion on my unusual sleepiness. She immediately referred me to a sleep clinic where I would have a sleep study done. Because it was almost a month before my study, and she was worried for my safety (thank god it wasn't just me being crazy!), she prescribed me stimulants to take twice a day.

After a few days, I noticed a night and day difference. I used to not be able to watch tv or read for more than thirty minutes because I would instantly pass out. If I enjoyed a glass of wine in the evening after dinner, I would be asleep within an hour, no matter what we were doing. I can't begin to explain all of the times I wanted to do more in my day but physically couldn't.

I had my sleep study about two weeks ago. I arrived at 9 PM at night and was hooked up to a bunch of wires and monitors (and yes I have some fantastic black mail pictures of myself). I was woken up at 6 AM the next day and had naps scheduled for the entire day. I had my first one around 9 AM. I had about thirty minutes to nap and I swear every time I didn't sleep. I was honestly irritated and wanted them to let me get in my two hour nap.

After an agonizing amount of days, I finally was able to consult with the doctor yesterday afternoon to hear my results. I sleep like a baby at night. My doctor thought for sure I had been sleep deprived for several days prior to the study. I informed her that anything less than 10 hours felt deprived to me. I guess that isn't the same opinion of doctors lol.

So my sleeping at night wasn't the problem. However, my nap study was very interesting. I fell asleep every single time within 5 minutes. Wow. The type of sleep I fell into and how fast I fell asleep definitely shows a sleep disorder. The doctor was unable to confirm if it was narcolepsy or not due to medication I was on that I was uncomfortable not taking while doing the study. But, if it isn't narcolepsy, the other disorder (that I totally forgot the name of and google can't seem to help) is very similar and they both use the same medication to treat. So the fantastic news is that this is treatable, but the not so great news is that this is something I will have for the rest of my life that may or may not get worse. My doctor said that I shouldn't be surprised if it gets worse in about five years. Normally the worst symptoms show up in the mid to late twenties.

Honestly, I am so relieved to know that this wasn't all in my head (well it kinda is lol). I am so happy to know I will be able to continue the medication my doctor had put me on before I could get my study done. I feel like a totally normal person finally. It is amazing to know all that you can do in a day when you aren't falling asleep.

Field Trips and Back Flips

Saturday morning I finally took the much anticipated adventure to J's place in Oregon. She owns the cute little bay yearling at my house and works with CJ a lot. She breeds and has consignment and project horses. Because I want to get as much experience as I can, I plan to be her "working student". This field trip was to see her place and talk about our goals for the future. I hopped on one of her personal seasoned horses to show her I am a competent rider.

The mare hadn't been legged up in awhile and while she was a little antsy, I certainly knew she wasn't a greenie and could behave. I hopped on and began adjusting my stirrups to something between hunter hack and dressage (I can't seamless cross over between the disciplines yet). As I was almost finished adjusting the mare whipped her head around (maybe to bite at a fly?) and whacked my helmet. I made an internal "ow" but the mare had startled herself. Next thing I know we are straight up in the air and heading backwards. I just prayed multiple times for her to not land on top of me. Luckily she didn't but I heard a nice crack as I hit the ground.

I basically laid on the ground an immobile mess. J had been finishing tacking her horse and was just about to head in the arena when she heard the scuffle. She rushed over to me and repeatedly asked if I was ok. I finally was able to let out a long groan.  It took me a few minutes to come to, but I determined all my body parts were working and functioning, and the crack had been my helmet.

Meanwhile, the poor more had initially taken off after falling onto the ground. But once she came to her senses she let out a loud breath and wandered over to us, her head low. I stood up and she rested her head against my chest. It seemed she was apologizing as she had no idea what had happened. 

My head was a throbbing mess and because of the incident at my sister's wedding in June, I opted to go to the clinic to get my head checked out. Safety first! They admitted me to the ER because of the recent head injury, but after some testing it was determined I was ok and just needed to be monitored for the next 48 hours. Phew! 

J and I talked and we both don't know what the hell happened. Shes had the mare for years and has never had her go up. Heck, she told me her kids hop on her all the time! Weird, freak accident. 

I am now in the market for a new helmet and unfortunately am taking a few days off from riding until my head stops throbbing. Its not too bad though, its surpassing 100 degrees this week. I am so thankful I was wearing a helmet. #MindYourMelon

Back into reality

The Motherland

Well I'm back from my San Diego adventures. I had a fantastic time and have some really exciting news happening today I can't wait to share with y'all, I also got to meet some lovely bloggers and stuffed myself with tacos. 

I am still digesting the trip but can't wait to share all the fun details in blogs this rest of this week. I hope you had a fantastic last week and happy Monday! 

Damn Ducks

My escape

Things have been changing rapidly for my life at a rate I am not comfortable of. Even though the school semester is finished and I passed my classes (with relatively good grades!), I never fully settled into the routine and still feel like a fish out of water returning to full time work. The biggest struggle I face is wanting to do anything after work. 

I used to work from 8-4 and although I'm not a morning person, getting off at four left me plenty of momentum to do things in the afternoon (even nap!). Now I work from 8:30 to 5 and as much as I appreciate the extra half hour of sleep I can't get over the feeling I get when I am off. Between 4 and 5 I turn into the grumpiest little toddler you have ever seen demanding wine and a nap.

At 5 I have a few options; get over my feelings and cry my way to the barn where I am reminded I love riding and horses and don't understand why I'm a little bitch or feel both guilty and relieved to just drive home (trying not to fall asleep at the same time). Or, I can feel so empowered from the barn to power on and drive to ride Monty where I am again reminded why I bought this fabulous creature and why horses are worth every ounce of my life.

It seems like an easy decision, but for whatever reason, I'm having a hard time driving my emotional self to the barn. I think the reason why I get so emotional (besides just that extra hour) is the lingering thought that things at my house need to get done. I need to ~be myself~ again (looking at you, eyebrows that are overdue for plucking). I can barely take care of my self (I really am a toddler) and that emotional impact is driving me crazy.

I got so behind in my daily indulgences that going through the motions is just not doing it for me anymore. Everything in my life feels like a chore until I actually do it. But getting myself to do these "chores" is so emotionally exhausting for me.

I know I sound like a whiny child, and that's just because I am right now. I really am trying to get my ducks in a row so life can be more enjoyable again, but the fuckers keep taking off in different directions every time I think I have them straight.

Weekend Review: 5/21-22

So empty

I spent Saturday volunteering at our local Dressage Festival. It was freezing and drizzling. I was in charge of the covered warm-up and would send competitors to the indoor arena before their ride time. It was a really slow day. 

Vendors weren't too interesting either so I left empty handed (good for my wallet). The crappy weather led me to go back home and nap. 

Yes I fangirled over CCI event rider Sara Mittlieder 

Sunday's weather wasn't much better. I spent almost 2 hours at Walmart adulting real hard. I joined the cool kids club and bought a FitBit. I mostly did housework and laundry (again- adulting so hard). I even meal prepped for the week! That evening I took Monty out for a good lunge as hes been quite sassy lately. 

He was pretty sure his only job was the weed the arena. I put him to work anyways and he was pretty stiff. I just let him do what he needed to on the lunge for about 10 minutes and let him return to his very important job of weeding. 

He is slowly improving and I have to keep reminding myself that Rome wasn't built in a day. Today is a Riesling ride and I'll probably take Monty out again this evening to stretch his legs. Happy Monday! 

Weekend Review: 5/7-5/8

Baby Winston Nose

What a relief of a weekend. It was really nice knowing I wasn't procrastinating homework all weekend. Saturday and Sunday were both joyous horse days.

Saturday I got to play with both goobers. Ries was first. We had storm Friday night that left the outdoor a little slick and with lots of puddles. I decided that it would be good for us to ride in different terrain. We only worked for maybe 10 minutes and walked on a loose rein for another 15 minutes. It was such a nice feeling. The wet sand smelled of the beach as we strolled from puddle to puddle. It was a warming sense of nostalgia for me. 

Being severely out of shape, I really didn't want to drive and see Monty. But I am so glad I did. Immediately when I arrived he reminded me of why I bought him. He is so sweet and loving. I opted to lunge because it would benefit him more than me attempting to ride like a potato sack. He was such a good noodle! His canter is becoming way more relaxed and he is getting stronger in his stifles. I'm so excited this week to ride him under saddle again. 

Sunday I ventured to our first-in-a-long-time USHJA show. I was a little girl at a candy store. Having not seen a recognized show in AGES it reminded me of happy times from my childhood. There was also a CWD rep and Voltaire rep. Cue internal screaming. We don't have any nice tack stores local and having lusted over nice french saddles for so long, I couldn't stop touching. 

I spoke with the CWD rep and figured out what saddle I would need, and thus begins the saving to hopefully find a used one in August. Of course I wanted to hear her whole spiel about why CWDs were the best, ect ect. I am definitely in the market when my horse is fit and I have money. 

Unfortunately the Voltaire rep was no where to be seen. Booo. I've always been a fan and really wanted to here what she had to say about their saddles. 

There was also a tack trailer from SLC. I absolutely admired her trendiness as I saw a lot of brands I had wanted to touch in real life before. I really wanted one of the TS 2" belts or she had gorgeous Asmar belts too. I played with some Equifit half pads (that I've been interested in).  She also had the new sheepskin Ogilvy's. It was really hard not to buy everything, especially a pair of Rockels. I've been needing new gloves but I have bills to pay before I can justify buying anything. 

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend and YAY SUMMER! 

Weekend Recap 4/11/16

Wew! Busy weekend (obviously as I am posting this on Tuesday). Riesling still was on stall rest until yesterday, so I spent my time working on the house. The garden has officially been started and we planted corn, onions, carrots, broccoli, and snap peas. In May I will add more summer friendly veggies to the garden! This is my first time gardening so it should be an adventure. 

We also finally got the "backyard" set up. Our actual backyard is the barn and acres of pasture so this is one of our side yards. Fire pit is all set up, bbq is ready to roll, hammock is hung and I am ready for summer! 

Yesterday I took out Vermont and gave him a quick lunge. He was mostly well behaved but had a case of the head shakes. I believe it is the bugs because he seemed to settle down towards the end. His canter transitions are way less exuberant and he is freaking out way less. I hope this will translate to under saddle as well! 

Three weeks left of the semester and pony time is kicking into high gear. 

I miss the boys at my house! 

Haulin'

Wow I have a lot of catch up to do. Been trying saddles like nobody's business, and I sold my saddle already! The weather has been crappy so riding is mostly just walking around anxiously and trying not to die. 

Anyways, my boss gave me a B&N gift card for funsies so I did a little shopping! I have one more book on the way, "How Good Riders Get Good". I saw how much use L @ Viva Carlos got from her readings so decided to jump in. The book by Janet Foy I bought because I remember someone (Emma?) talking about wanting to clinic with her so I figured why not.

Yay books! I also got a mug that says "Life the Life You Imagined" because that's what I need to start doing. Hopefully after studying tonight I should be able to write up more blog posts about what is going on in crazy land. 

Balancing Act

Hadron the Newfie (horse trainer's dog)

One of my biggest struggles is balancing everything in my life. Being sick last year really threw it all out of wack. Honestly, I'm a really terrible student. I don't like doing homework and I somehow always think of something better to do than go to class. But this week I've been on my game.

I managed to get all of my homework done on Sunday and spent all day studying yesterday for an exam. The first tests of the semester are in and I am passing! My business law professor is kind of an ass and makes his exams hard. He told us in his teaching career only one student has ever gotten an A on one of his exams so I was pretty happy just to pass that test. 

Today I begin legging up all of my trainer's horses. They are out of shape, I'm out of shape, should be a blast. The weather has been really stormy on my ride days and my weekend got way out of control trying to get shit done. I've just seen Ries to stuff his face full of cookies and let him know I still exist. He is a traditionally lazy horse so he doesn't mind this after having a hard ride early last week. 

Our little farm is starting to become a real farm! Bf decided he wants to raise meat chickens so this should be an interesting little adventure. They are pretty cute and cuddly right now. We've also began painting our ancient cabinets white. We managed to get a whopping 2 doors painted. Ha. That should be finished this week, however. 

Ruger (mom's dog)

I also have puppy fever so hopefully I can have my own dog here to join me on adventures soon. 

It feels good to do everything I need to. When I can get house chores, school, and pony time in on schedule I am happy and not stressed. The goal is to get better at my time management and kick some ass this year. I apologize for the word vomit, but that's the little update on my life. 

Chicken with the head cut off

That's me. Running around blindly. Probably a bad idea to write a blog at 11 pm but this is going to keep me up all night.

I'm having my "pre-life crisis" (because I'm just barely an adult). And WHAT AM

I DOING WITH MY LIFE. 

I've never really had this panic before. Not quite this full blown. Do I want to own a barn? Do I want a future in the horse business? Would I explode in a 9-5 job?? 

I'm irritated with school (mostly calculus and dumb teachers that DON'T STICK TO THE SYLLABUS). I'm kind of wondering why I'm doing this. I'm wondering if I should have gone to be a working student after highschool instead. 

I mean I'll get this degree even if it leaves me heavily wounded by the end of it. I'm too far in and I don't think I would regret getting a degree. 

But I know what I like in my life. Sleep. Naps. Cooking. Tacos. Playing with and taking care of my animals. I like planning. I like seeing end results. Wine and Netflix. No set schedule. 

What do I do with that? I had everything planned out with my career counselor but now I don't know if that's what I want anymore (I've always had things "figured out" so this makes me paranoid that my entire life is a lie). 

I know life is a journey and you can make different career choices along the road. But my brain doesn't work that way. I need a final destination to drive towards. And not just a stop, but final. The thought of this organic lifestyle changing careers and lifestyles midway through freaks me out. I want to get somewhere and be happy. 

I don't enjoy abstractly floating around in this realm of discovery. 

Stumbling

I've been driving the struggle bus lately. I have no motivation for school. Lately I find myself just stumbling through the motions of life. I realized that is no way to live your life. So I thought about why I want to learn about business. I made some goals and aspirations for myself. I'm thinking about the big picture and how if I don't buckle down and do it I won't get anywhere. Even things I love I don't want to do. But now that I have this seemingly gorgeous future envisioned for myself I want nothing less. I'm going to struggle and screw up along the way, but damnit I'm going to do this. 

I proved to myself the power of positive thinking last night when I realized I had missed two of my tests I had scheduled. I immediately wanted to cry and kick myself but I took a deep breath and rescheduled for a few hours later, told myself I'm going to make Calculus my bitch and I feel really good about how I did on that test now.

2016 is my year. I'm going to be selfish and do things to make me happy for once. Starting with 5 things I am grateful for every morning. 

How I feel this morning:

1. An amazing hobby that led me to my best friend, Riesling, and to an awesome support system around the globe

2. My extremely supportive bf who saw the "normal" Micaylah before shit hit the fan and knows I'm going to be an even better version of myself coming out of this. 

3. Not having stupid roomates who eat my food

4. Costco sleep aid pills for helping me get some rest in. Muy importante. 

5. Waking up and driving during a beautiful sunrise. (Seriously driving to work in the dark is sad)

I'll have a riding update soon, going to ~finally~ write out some goals for 2016, and maybe do a fun little giveaway for my 100th blog post! 

Why I said no

As much as a fabulous opportunity it was to start my breeding career I had to say no.

Why?

1) the mares werent the breeding quality I wanted

Della the Hanoverian has very good bloodlines. Unfortunately she also has OCD. While it hasn't been directly confirmed it is genetic and it isnot exactly something I can forget.

The second mare, Emmy, was of breeding quality and was ok to breed and create an RPSI baby, however she was unregistered. Her mom was a fantastic Grand Prix jumper and her father was excellent as well but she wasn't going to be able to create a well registered baby.

2) Im poor

It is unfair for me to say that I can support two more horses. Sure I have the hay but if one of them required medical attention I wouldn't be able to afford it. And that isn't fair to the horses.

3) I can't gauruntee a home to the babies

Yeah I have pasture at my house but other than that I don't know. Im still not 100% in my TB Riesling. I need to be able to support him fully (rather than my mom having my back in an emergency) before I can get another horse.

Sure it would be fun to have babies and the thought of making money and starting my career would be great, but that isn't realistic. I thought about it long and hard (trust me this is all I've ever wanted) and it just isn't the right time in my life, I'm only 20, my future is still unwritten. 

Dreams

 

Besides all the Star Wars dreams lately, I've had the same hopes for my future since I was a little girl.

When I was in elementary school I was drafting plans for what my barn would look like and be called. 

When I hit middle school I was requesting course catalogs from equestrian colleges all over the US.

I've always wanted a future with horses. But in 8th grade my hopes and dreams of going to school for equestrian studies was smashed when my mom told me I'd never make it as a trainer and I should be a vet instead. I determined I could make this work. But I just couldn't be any farm vet. No; I was going to aim to be a vet for the United States Equestrian Team. 

Then my second semester of freshman year in college happened. And I failed so hard at bio and chemistry. I had a breakdown. It was at this point in time my parents told me "Well, Micaylah, I'd much rather see you take a large loan and build the boarding facility of your dreams than go to vet school." Wow. Thanks guys. This information would have been way more useful before I started school. 

So a roommate at the time convinced me to try seeking out a business degree. I pursued this for a year at my university and have been happy. I also enrolled to Dickinson State University to get an online associates degree in Equine Management. All was right with the world. *besides not having enough financial aid to start my associates 

Then I had to take the first semester of my junior year off to have surgery on my tonsils and adenoids. Its been a very rough time. After everything that has happened I lost it again. This time (after enrolled in this spring semester) my parents told me I could take a break from school and work full time. Great timing. Since I'm a little over half way done and already in student loan debt I'm not going to drop out by any means. I'm going to get my BBA.

But I had an interesting offer. My horse trainer no longer wants to continue on her breeding business. She has 2 teenage broodmares left (that live at my house) and wants to sell them to me. She would include breedings to her friend's RPSI stallion that just produced two gold babies at inspection last year. 

Financially and responsibly it is a dumb idea. But I've been reaching towards my dreams for so long, and to have an opportunity to start my life is all I've ever wanted. I'll elaborate more as I investigate further. I won't come up with an answer until I am fully 100% educated on what I would be getting myself into or giving up. But that is where I am standing. 

New Years

So it took me until today (1/10) to feel like a new year. I didn't get home from San Diego (which just felt like a horrible nightmare) until the night of the 3rd, slept all day on the 4th, and had a complete mental breakdown on the 5th. I'm finally feeling normal and can function like an adult.

So per life's usual routine, while trying to get through my massive mountain of laundry my washing machine broke. Awesome.

School is officially starting tomorrow which is terrifying.

If you have a chance to make one of your life's dreams come true but you aren't in the right part of your life, do you fight to make it work or hold out knowing something better might come along at the right time in life?

Brother

Last Wednesday I left for San Diego with my mom to go check on my brother in the hospital. December 17th he was hit by a car while on his motorcycle. He suffered from a broken femur, shattered ankle, shattered foot, broken hand, and collapsed lung. The first two days he was sedated and intubated. A chest tube was put in afterwords and he just got that out a few days prior to us arriving.

He has had countless surgeries and his entire foot is being reconstructed. The Tuesday before we arrived he had an 8 hour long surgery where they took muscle from his stomach and integrated it on his foot. 

He has only one more surgery left that will hopefully happen tomorrow or Thursday. They will be putting a plate into his foot and doing a skin graft.

Aside from all the physical pain, I didn't anticipate all of the emotional pain. I thought going down there would be fun and I would have fun hanging out with my brother. Instead I had to be the support for both my brother and my mom. I am so emotionally drained. This process is going to be life changing for everyone involved in my brother's life. 

I am so happy to be home. I cried all night on Sunday, didn't sleep, and slept all day on Monday.  I can't wait to go give my horse a hug tonight. Prayers for emotional support are incredibly needed. 

13 Dogs

The past week I've been house sitting for 13 dogs. 13. The lady is a dog breeder and breeds Havanese. Here is a little picture of the monsters. 1 terrier not pictured who is about 50 lbs, 9 adult Havanese, & 3 puppies. 

It feels nice not having to clean up after puppies anymore. But with how often I've house sat for this lady and how many litters of her puppies I have had the pleasure to take care of, I am convinced I could be a dog breeder. I don't want to care for puppies or have 13 dogs. But I could do it. 

In other news, it has been about 18 degrees average as of late. Aka no riding time. Personally, I don't like to ride below 20. The outdoor is an ice rink and all the paddocks have been shoveled (ask me how I know) so the ponies aren't slipping on ice. It makes stall cleaning easier at least. 

Since we have mirrors in the indoor now we are no longer allowed to have turnout in there. So the other day I stuck Ries on the lunge and let him derp around. Poor guy had so much pent up energy. Much buck. Very rear. 

He was quite satisfied with himself and leaned into my pats afterwords. Silly boy. Christmas money means lessons are on the horizon! 

My brother is currently in the hospital from a bad motorcycle accident down in California. Tomorrow I head out to go see him for a week. I hope it stays frozen in Idaho so I don't have to feel guilty about missing rides. 

Adios frozen weather! Maybe I'll get a tan ;)