Prisoner

It was not my intention to fall silent. But in order to succeed, I had to drop it all. The horses were turned outside, the hobbies were pushed to the side, and it was just me and boxes glasses of wine. But I accomplished the goal. I am officially a graduate with a degree in Business Administration from Boise State University. And ultimately at the end of it all, I feel lost and it is time to find myself. I'm happy to have this blog to fall back on to explore who I want to become. I've missed everyone and I can't wait to immerse myself in months of catching up on the goings on of the world around me.

Les Bois Dressage I & II

After having done the show a few weeks prior, I was feeling overall pretty excited to compete again, especially because it was at the same facility. I had a slight worry that the last time had been a hoax but overall I knew that it would go well. Les Bois Dressage was pretty much a repeat of Boise River minus the ridiculously generous judge. I was only able to do one test each day, (T-3), so it was pretty low key. My goal was to just have another productive show and get some nice higher scores for Training level.

Because my braids looked so horrendous last time I did something very sinful. I didn’t have the time or energy to pull, so I shaved the underside of E’s mane. It worked out surprisingly well and I would only recommend it if you aren’t planning on having a full show season and your mane resembles that of a draft horse (E is half shire). If I show E next year I will definitely hire someone to pull her mane in spring and just maintain it throughout the year.

Overall I thought my scores for this show were very fair and Saturday received a 66+% (a little low IMO) and Sunday a 72+%. The show was incredibly laid back and fun and I wish I could have been in the running for a champion ribbon! 

Clearer

Lately I've been noticing I have had a hard time reading things that are far away. I didn't think much of it and assumed it was at a normal distance to not see. I always kind of joked about things being blurry. One day in class my coworker (I share a class with two coworkers!) asked if I could read a sign across the classroom. I kind of looked at him and laughed, fully believing now one could really read the sign that well. My other coworker looked at me funny and told me to try on her glasses as normally she couldn't read it either. I didn't expect to notice a huge difference but immediate could READ. What?!?

I don't think I've had an eye exam since middle school and quite frankly never thought I needed one. But that day after I left class, I called the eye doctor and set up an appointment. Sure enough I could use some plastic in front of my eyes. I couldn't get over he trial glasses and kept laughing like a child every time I took them on and off. Sure enough, I had the same response when I got my glasses for real.

So, teach me blogland, what do I do now? Ride with glasses or without? Try to transition to contacts even though I have a fear of poking my eyeball? I couldn't even go 6 hours without scratching them as I thought I was super smart when using paper towels to dry them off *facepalm*

All Aboard

The past three weeks I've been sick/injured. I'm not sure exactly what happened but my chest x-rays show a swollen lung and bronchitis. Now, this is not a woe is me post, but my issues currently allow me to take a mini break from life and get back to things that have fallen by the way-side. Aka this blog. 

So what has happened that I need to recap (is this blog just turning into once every other month recaps on my life?):

Test look back from Boise River Dressage

Les Bois Dressage Show

First Level Dressage Debut (!!!!!!)

And that is about all the exciting stuff. I've missed blogging, and catching up on blogs.I have this weird association with blogging that made me lose my voice for awhile. It seemed like if I had nothing big or exciting to share no one would care (uh why do I care what people think? Its my blog!) and after going so long without writing it just seemed like one of those things to keep ignoring. I have this problem where I am 100% the object at rest stays at rest. It is hard for me to get moving again once I start slacking off. However, I've learned this about myself and I'm trying to be more retrospective. 

I hope everyone had a lovely summer, and I will be silently lurking in the background, speed reading a few months worth of blogs!

The Epic Dressage Show

Saturday June 23rd I packed up my trailer and went to my first dressage show in three years. And who did I have the pleasure of riding? Miss Evita of course!

 All PC: Jannae

I was so exceptionally nervous for this show. I had heard she gets very "up" at shows and I felt I had something to prove and needed over a 65%. I also knew I wanted to set us up for success at our first show together and opted to show training 2 & 3.

This pic and pic below are PC: SB

I tried on my show clothes a few days prior (I'm great at procrastinating) and realized my coat and shirt didn't fit super well so I bought a new coat and shirt (review to follow!). My ride times weren't scheduled for the afternoon so I had a leisure morning acquiring braiding supplies and liquid courage (see: procrastination). I pulled Evita out of pasture late morning and began to bathe and braid.

This is where my anxiety kicked it. E started yelling for Mae after being separated. I thought for sure this was the sneak preview of how the show was going to go. I also kicked myself for not thinning her mane earlier and broke out in tears over how fugly it looked. 

I hastily finished my shitty braid job, realized I was running late, and threw together a sandwich to take on the road. E loaded up ok but clearly was on edge. I checked my hitch job and hit the road for my long 15 min trek. 

We arrived and despite parking arrangements not being idiot proof, I took a deep breath and went to check in. I saw some friends and literally asked them to babysit me because I've never shown by myself and my coach had other clients so would just see me in the warmup. I was advised to breathe and handwalk E around to let her look at the surroundings. I unloaded E and she took a look around, yawned, and lowered her head.

The more I walked with E, the more she yawned and chewed. Apparently she knew right where she was and was completely relaxed to go dance around. I was still worried that when I got on she would be different so I remained reserved. I tacked up a little behind schedule and headed over to warmup nervous. I got on and immediately told E we were here to do the thing. I'm pretty sure if I could have seen her face she would have been rolling her eyes at me. Shortly after a quick walk around I saw Jannae and my parents there to cheer me on. 

My coach gave me a quick warmup and off I went to enter at A. The test itself was easy and although I noticed E gained a small amount of tension as we entered, it was pretty solid. Mare had my back! After  our final salute I was so happy. I just couldn't help but think that omg we did the thing and E is easy and fun at shows! 

I hopped off because I had an hour until my next test and chilled happily with my friends. Next thing I know the score runner tells me congratulations and unsure, I said "thanks?!" before looking up at my placing. First! First? No wait, not just first but 80% first? What?! What!!! "You're the highest score of the day!" Again, what?! I proceeded to freak out (as E napped, naturally) in excitement. I couldn't believe we scored that high, it was unreal. I knew for my next test I didn't want to warmup very long and my goal was to just have fun.

The beginning of the test went great but I noticed I was lacking energy and on my last canter circle and thought my downward transition was two letters before it actually was. My thought process went: "hold on E, our downward is just right there! Hm, we've been trotting for awhile. Oh..look..C...that's where my transition went" so we had a minor mistake, oh well. I finished up my long and low and was just happy to have laid down another pretty solid test. This test wasn't scored as favorably (lol I mean compared to the 80) but we got a well deserved 71%. I hopped off super pony, went to acquire treats (because I'm the worst and forgot some) and cracked open my wine while waiting to see who got high point. T'was me! Hell yes! I thanked the pony numerously for being the best teacher/babysitter ever and packed up to go get her home. Best. Show. Ever.

Green Bean Thoughts

So fancy in his inherited PSOS bridle

Being given the opportunity to ride such a well trained horse as Evita certainly has been a blessing. But, it makes riding and wanting to ride the green horses a lot less motivating. I can get on Evita and pretty much put her exactly how I want her and do whatever suits my fancy. And I started to run into trouble with my greenie. 

Greenie's first side rein

Merlot has an incredible work ethic and despite his spookiness, is a pretty chill dude under saddle but after prioritizing my rides on Evita I found I would get frustrated and pushy with Merlot. And it isn't fair. He toodles like a pro, but if I try and put on trainer pants, I started to expect he had an education when he didn't. Even though Ries was not a dressage pro, he had a foundation put on him and once trainer taught me to unlock and develop it, we were golden. But greenie he was not.

Mer and V Have a huge bromance. Also photo bomb by Mae and E (E is in fly mask)

So here I am sitting with a lovely pony who will work sun up to sun down and give you snuggles when the day is done. But I really don't know how to get that first step of the dressage foundation put on him. So we toodled and moved at a snails pace. I tried to do "hey look, if I weight this seat bone and put on this leg you move over" and "I know contact feels weird but I'm just going to have soft forgiving hands" and yet I felt my tool bag kind of empty. 

So many smiles <3

I had my first dressage lesson on Merlot two weeks ago and that helped so much. It was enough of a push but also a "we are only focusing on one thing this entire lesson" that I finally feel I have a start in the dressage direction. I knew I looked like a sack of potatoes riding a llama but I couldn't help but smile. I didn't just buy a green horse because I think he will be fancy and he has a forgiving attitude (and I have a limited budget), but for how much I wanted to experience the process of bringing a green horse up and how much joy it gives me.

An Intro: The past month

So my little hiatus lasted a little longer than planned. But that's ok, I'm here now and want to start back with a small intro to the next few posts.

1) I got engaged! Holy crap was this a total 360 in my life. Luke proposed at his birthday party (end of April) I hosted for him after blowing out the candle (I actually forgot candles for his cake and had him blow out a giant yankee candle lol). It was so lovely to have our friends and family there. I am so so thrilled. No, there is no date yet, my focus is my last semester of college!

 

Baby Z's third ride!

2) Ponies are doing swell. Baby Z has been rocking baby boot camp and I've even ridden him twice now! He comes home in about two weeks. Mae has been a little brat and I haven't gotten to ride her yet, she needs to graduate from my stop-being-a-brat-about-work groundwork bootcamp. Vermont has been a super steady guy and very easy for rides. Merlot definitely is showing his green side but so so willing (and gorgeous to look at omg). And finally, Evita has been my rock and so much fun.

3) I finished my second to last semester of college with a fantastic GPA. My work continues to be nice and they even gave me an internship for summer to get some credits knocked out. I'm looking forward to my future outside of college.

Friday the 13th

The past two weeks have been super quiet on the blog front. Im getting a temporary moment of air, but as finals come up, Im drowning again.

My grandmother went into the hospital on 4/3 and last Friday my family and I watched her take her final breaths.

I've got a lot more going on, but that tipped the boat. I'm not currently ok, but know sunny skies lie ahead. I'll be having a brief absence and will see you all again in May. 

March Review, April Goals

Totally forgot to track my habits of water ect halfway through the month

March Goals 

Fitness- Consistently work out 3 days a week. Go to yoga. Never made it to yoga. Also didn't work out at all during spring break, was too busy!

Horses- Pray that my arena gets finished (or even started at this point). Send Z off to pony boot camp. Get horses started back for the year and then kick butt. Yass arena finished! I even lunged horses on it for the first time last week! Z left on Friday to be started and I'm so excited. Everyone except for Mae got started this month! 

Financial- STOP BUYING STUFF. Start saving again. I failed so hard at this during the first two weeks, but I've been great over the last two! Nothing added to savings yet.

Mental-Balance my plate better. Even though I want to be a straight A student, just focus on graduating and spend more time with ponies or doing things just for me. I also downloaded an app to help me remember my daily things like vitamins, now to really see how well I keep track! Totally failed at using the app but hoping to get better. Stopped focusing on school as much (I already have A's) and now going to bust ass to get all the ponies worked. 

April Goals

 

Fitness- Keep aiming for 3 days a week at gym, 1x a week at PT, and 1x a week yoga. 

Horses- Oversee that Z has a successful startup.  Ride E 4x a week. Bring a pony to a schooling show. 



Financial- Really truly stop buying stuff. Commit to savings. 

Mental- Finish the semester strong. Maintain a clean house.
 

Organize this monstrosity of a tack room (and sell anything I don't need)

Spring Break

 

Why yes it is halfway through spring break and I'm JUST NOW POSTING.

The arena is finished! I have yet to play on it due to time/weather. But today is the day! I had so many plans and grand ideas for this week and yet..I've done none of them. Today is my only day off from work besides the weekend and I do have some lofty goals!

 

Also, I am still catching up on blog posts, but I've made it to January at least! It is my goal to be less than one month behind at the end of the week, so I better start reading.  

School is trucking along, but I'm 100% over it. I'm working with HR to make an internship so I only have three classes to take next semester before I graduate. I have final projects galore that need worked on this week, but man all the time I thought I would have somehow is no longer there. 

Time to spend my day playing ponies!

Weekend Warrior

YAS MOVE THE SAND

So many good things have been happening! Like the above picture. The arena work was started! It is about 2/3 of the way done and we have pulled out a metric crap ton of excess sand, that has been happily dumped into my once crappy paddocks that were down to the base! Life is going to get so much better out here!

Anyways, I had quite the intense weekend! 

Saturday

Saturday morning after completing horse chores I drove over to CJ's to ride. This was everyone's first ride of the year. She had a light lesson planned for Sunday and wanted me to hop on both Aragorn and Tess (potential new lesson pony!). Aragorn was surprisngly great. You remember me calling him the mule headed thigh master? He was definitely SLOW but took some encouragement quite nicely! I forgot how much fun he can be, his big warmblood gaits are so unique. 

Thats about 2' deep at the center

Tess was a wild card. We haven't done much with her since CJ got her and this would be her first ride under saddle. I knew she had experience with lots of kids riding her but was more of an all around horse. As a QH and 13 I expected to be pretty safe. She definitely acts SUPER green but overall seems safe. She was very insecure in the contact and either bobbed her head down or latched onto the bit and yanked it down. We kept it basic with just a few strides of trotting here and there and she wasn't mean so so far she seems like a good candidate. 

Next I hopped on Evita and I was kind of nervous to ride her. I've mentioned her spooky/bolting behavior in the past and wasn't sure what horse I would have under me after a few months sitting around. Surprise to me, she was PERFECT. Definitely weak and out of shape but nearly the same as what I left off with. It felt like home being on her back again <3

I also got Mae out who presented with some soreness behind and opted to put her away. She was such a good girl though, but tweaked something while being an idiot in turn out. 

Later I went home to show my cousin my place; I haven't seen her in probably 10 years! She has kids now and overall seemed disinterested but oh well. 

Such a good mule head <3

Once they left I hooked up my trailer, loaded Merlot, and hauled a few minutes down the street to Jannae's house (who I just recently learned blogged! Go follow her, shes an awesome person and has kickass pones). Jannae was kind of to host me and my green bean since we are arena-less but the weather is so nice. Mer was kind of a basket case to haul and was extremely apprehensive to load but hopped on like a good noodle. He got himself in a tizzy on the trailer and was shaking like a leaf when I pulled him off. Once I tied him to the trailer though, his little greenbean brain was like "oh tying. I can do this" and cocked a leg and relaxed. 

So hairy but still the best <3

He was on edge again when I lead him the short distance to the arena but once I set him out on the line he got pretty comfortable. Being an adult is hard but I really like this guy is a diamond in the rough. He wants to try so hard, he is just terrified of the world. 

Sunday

Sunday I woke up and kind of felt like death physically. I had TRX Friday night and combined with all the pony shenanigans on Saturday my body was TIRED. However, I did have a personal training appointment with my favorite horsey-themed personal trainer. It was also her birthday so I had an excuse to buy her coffee and a piece of cake from the local cafe. She loved it and gave me a great workout. 

My cousin fed him a carrot and he just played with it in his mouth

After feeling like death warmed over again, I went home to do some homework and house chores. Luke and CJ were continuing work on the arena and moving sand into the paddocks. 

In the afternoon (yay DST even though I love sleep), I went back to CJ's and even though her lesson was canceled she asked if I would hop on the ponies if she tacked them up. I agreed because I can't pass up an excuse to ride. Aragorn was still being fabulous. With Tess we worked more on actually asking her to get on the bit with inside leg to outside rein. She got steadier in the contact and we avoiding some of her anxiety by riding lots of figures. 

Proving we can tie like an adult

Evita was an angel again, but got a little excited when we asked her to canter. Even though she can be a strong and intimidating horse, I actually smiled because it is refreshing to see a horse love their job so much. We got her relaxed and ended in some nice stretchy trot and she was so freaking proud of herself. That mare is becoming my second horse love (behind Ries of course). 

I'm really really excited to see where the year is going, but I'm trying my darnedest to kick ass.

SO FANCY! I think hes going to be a great dressage pony if he hates jumping

Feb review, March goals

February Review

Fitness-Work out 6 times! Make it to the gym at least once. Prioritize 10k steps a day. Joined a new gym! Its all classes and you wear a heart rate monitor that displays on a monitor during the class. Its really fun and exciting to watch. I worked out 6 times. Goal met.

Horses- Ride all of my horses at least twice. Get started on Z's groundwork. Fail. Weather and other priorities got in the way. No rides. Managed to lunge Mae twice and was about to start riding both her and Evita and then a winter storm came through.

Financial-  Buy hay, use leftover money for credit cards. Avoid buying anything new. Whoops. Fail again. Bought a lot, what else am I supposed to do when I cant play with ponies? 

Mental- Do one week straight of daily self care. Read a book (that isn't a text book). Color. Overall did better. Blue and green stars are water and self care.

March Goals 

Fitness- Consistently work out 3 days a week. Go to yoga. 

Horses- Pray that my arena gets finished (or even started at this point). Send Z off to pony boot camp. Get horses started back for the year and then kick butt.

Financial- STOP BUYING STUFF. Start saving again.

Mental-Balance my plate better. Even though I want to be a straight A student, just focus on graduating and spend more time with ponies or doing things just for me. I also downloaded an app to help me remember my daily things like vitamins, now to really see how well I keep track!














Overall some big progress in the fitness, but everything else kinda sucked. Even if the weather isn't perfect, I need to say no to spending time indoors on homework and yes on walk work in wet footing.

90 Degrees Right

 

I made a major life change lately. I really haven't had a real job since I quit my receptionist job for my stepdad back in May of last year.

I took the time to really focus on school and took two summer classes. My main income came from Mr. Visa and house sitting.

I am in an insane amount of credit card debt from that stint. I don't necessarily regret my choice, because lord knows I need to graduate so bad. But my plans to work on a business with my horse trainer hasn't really panned out yet. As much as I also enjoyed house sitting when I just rented a room in a shared house, living and managing a ten acre property and 5-10 of my horse trainer's retirees made house sitting for her and the boarders at her house extremely stressful and time consuming.

So after 8 months of being without a direct deposit, I have a job again. I'm no longer house sitting. I am working in the finance industry and hoping that when I graduate I can move up in the organization. Last week was my first week and a major struggle for my time management. Before I started working I was already struggling with the whole full time school and horses bit. But I tend to thrive on a busy schedule and really need the income so I'm going to make it work. Also, killing the house sitting time commitment and time spent driving back and forth in my car reduces a lot of stress and frees up part of my schedule.

I'm excited and nervous. I'm not going to be a 100% engaged student anymore, but really I don't need A's, I need a diploma. So cheers to life changes and putting in the work to get shit done.

Horse Show Prep

Donna the Dodge now has a new friend, Carl the Camper

No, I have not in fact been riding my horses. :| 

But, Bf and I recently acquired this sweet truck bed camper! There isn't water or a bathroom but the bed area is pretty decent (6" less than a full..not big by any means) and it is pretty roomy inside! 

$500 later and I won't have to have a hotel ever again (even if I may want to haha). We actually decided to find something like this because our local country music festival is coming up and we didn't want to tent camp on the venue. We figured we would just rent a camp trailer but at $100+ a night we thought we might see what we could find. Because our truck is a long bed (8 ft), and most teeny camper trailers are 13 ft, we figured we'd save the hitch to pull a trailer and just get a tuck bed camper. 

We have some cosmetic updates to make and hopefully will be installing an air conditioning unit on the roof but for the time being I'm pretty stoked with how solid this is. 

Any ideas for what to keep stocked 24/7 in this bad boy? I'm thinking first aid, some cook wear, and emergency clothes.

Jan Review/Feb Goals

Behind on posts, behind on life. I'm only human, just have to work harder.

January Review

Fitness- Worked out all of twice. Yoga once. Womp womp. Better than 0?

Horses- Snuggled with them. Arena should be started this week. Then time to kick ass.

Financial- Got a job! Start Monday. This breaks my 7 month hiatus without one. My poor credit cards.

Mental- 8 days where I did full self care. Progress.

February Goals 

Fitness- Work out 6 times! Make it to the gym at least once. Prioritize 10k steps a day.

Horses- Ride all of my horses at least twice. Get started on Z's groundwork.

Financial- Buy hay, use leftover money for credit cards. Avoid buying anything new.

Mental- Do one week straight of daily self care. Read a book (that isn't a text book). Color.




Minor goals, but baby steps are progress towards huge leaps.

2018 Goals

 

My word for the year is Bloom. In an effort to stay on track, I'm going to do monthly goals. But they are all going to revolve around three major points. 

1. Graduate

2. Show

3. Get healthy again

The first two are kind of self-explanatory. But the last one has a lot of meaning. I want to be healthy mentally, physically, and financially. We all grow and change as the years progress, sometimes in the way we want and sometimes not. It is important to recognize that every day the world around us shapes who we are. I am able to be apart of that process and not just let the world do whatever it pleases with me. I'm going to take the world around me as opportunities to thrive. 

I'm going to be deliberate with my actions to become who I want to be and where I want to be. What is guiding you this year?

Silence

I may or may not have killed my laptop by spilling wine on it. Whoops. It's getting fixed slowly though so stay tuned.

The past two weeks has been insane for school. Two semesters left. I got this.

Just letting you all know I'm still here and planning on some posts here, just a lkttle disabled at the moment. How has your January been so far? 

Backup to 2017: Trailer

 

 In my serious case of not having enough time, I believe I failed to mention one of my major accomplishments this year. I got a trailer! Well, technically, I got two trailers. Here is the story:

(I briefly mentioned I got a truck, Donna the Dodge, in 2016 and have yet to show pictures. I'll get a full pic of the rig one day)

I mentioned to horse trainer that one of my goals was to get a trailer to keep at my house because if something ever happened I wanted to know I could take the horses to the vet hospital. She agreed and because her horses were there too, she offered to help me buy one. Somehow she then became determined and the next week told me she bought a trailer and told me to go pick it up.

This gave me major anxiety because I hate feeling like I owe someone and I also had no way to immediately pay her back. She wasn't too worried though and said I'd have her paid off in no time. The trailer was perfectly fine for what I needed. A 4 horse turned 3 horse slant load with stock sides. Perfectly large tack room and light weight. It was old and hand dings but what did I care? 

And then we moved (and I just remembered I have a whole post to write up about that still!)

And on the property was a gorgeous basically brand new all aluminum three horse trailer with a tack room and dressing room. CJ (horse trainer) mentioned to the current owner of the house if he ever wanted to sell it she would be interested. The sale of the house went through and upon move in we saw the trailer was still there. CJ called previous owner and asked why it was there and he said he wanted her to buy it. He was basically selling it for 60% less than what he bought it for new even though he maybe used it a few times (seriously it looked brand new, even on the inside!). So CJ happily obliged and determined she would sell my current trailer and sell me her old one instead. 

Of course I wanted her old one; it was very nice and light weight. But I certainly didn't need it. Anyway, within two weeks CJ had my old trailer sold and I headed to the bank to get a loan to buy this trailer. And here we are. The rig is complete! And I'm even more poor now than ever before.