But I'm facing a dilemma.
Cute little 16 year old girl rides at my barn. Basically we are the only ones that ride consistently and are of the same age range. So naturally, she comes to me for advice and her day to day problems.
The other day she accompanied me on my trip to ride up at CJ's house after I finished riding Ries at the barn. We were jamming out to some BSpears (she had no idea what was going on) when she started telling me about her guy problems.
At 16, I was an innocent little flower. I know some of you probably were not.
Now back to the drive: she was saying how she skipped class and went with some dude to go make out in his truck instead. "I would have f***ed him too but it was his brother's truck so I felt weird."
WHOA. BACK THIS ON UP. *cue internal crying*
I had no idea how to respond. And then this beauty came out:
"Does that make me a hoe? I don't care. I am a hoe. I'd f*** any hot guy!"
Uhm.
Should I be concerned? I mean I'm all for letting your freak flag fly but shes 16 and I don't want to see anything bad happen to her.
Oh dear. Ohhhhh dear. I'd be concerned. That "I will throw myself at any hot piece of meat" attitude is gonna get her in a whole world of trouble. Maybe time for a heart-to-heart about self-respect and the value of sex since she obviously trusts and respects you? This is a toughie. :/
ReplyDeleteLove the whoopy gif lol. It's a myob situation- unless you are ready to take on a bigger challenge of being her mentor and advisor. If she looks up to you, you could have quite a bit of influence and do good.
ReplyDeleteI boarded with a ton of kids for a while. My rule became that if they talked about self harm or suicide, I told their parents or the riding instructor. Otherwise I butted out.
ReplyDeleteI would be so uncomfortable with that kind of conversation. It's hard to have an adult conversation with someone so young. I actually am pretty uncomfortable with those types of topics....with the exception of my closest friends. But I am an old prude! :P
ReplyDeleteyikes - i can definitely see how that can get awkward! tho actually when i was in college working at a farm a lot of the 'older' teens would tell me all about their partying and 'adult' exploits. not sure if they thought it would impress me or make them seem cool bc i was a college student? but like some others said, if you're worried about her health/safety/well-being, maybe consider discussing it with her or someone in a position of responsibility. otherwise maybe just brush it off?
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's an awkward one. I don't really have any good advice. I'd ask her why she would want to label herself that way. It doesn't benefit her future, so why? Maybe when she can't come up with a reasonable answer, she'll start thinking about it a little more.
ReplyDeleteI work really hard to be a trainer that my kids feel comfortable telling me things about - but my role as trainer makes it very straightforward my response: "I care a great deal about you and as such, I want to talk about you. And your self esteem. And why sex is something you have to value if anyone else is going to. And why you have to learn to respect and cherish yourself because no one else can really do it for you."
ReplyDeleteKinda tough for you. Maybe just be honest and tell her that that behavior worries you and you care about her and if she needs help let you know. Or something
Could she just be saying that to get attention from you? Lots of teens lie about all sorts of things. Depends on how close you are with her, but I'd probably go quasi-parental and give the "any dog can have sex" speech.
ReplyDelete