Lolz I couldn't pass up the opportunity SprinklerBandit presented of drawing myself in paint. Therefore, behold, me and Riesypie in paint!
Oh and then there is my hands. My fingers refuse to stay closed. Perma-open. You know, incase my horse decides he reaaally needs the reins, apparently I won't stop him. Oops. There is also bubble-butt, which is hard to tell from the picture. But yes, biggest butt and I cannot lie. But it makes sitting on a hard saddle better, or falling off.
Uhh what else is there? Oh yeah there is also my giant calves. The ones that require wide tall boots when I SERIOUSLY AM NOT THAT WIDE. Like, the hell? Ergh. Gunna start a campaign one day called "Real Riders Have CALVES!" I believe that is the extent of my anatomy. Now to move on to my glorious mount, Riesling.
Glorious Riesy Beefcakes. His head is cute as a button. He has almost no forelock. He has the beefiest necks of all the beefy necks. He is also super spotty. I joke that he is purple. He has super mega long lengs, because thoroughbred. Oh and also the worst thoroughbred feet. He had to get lifts put on. Diva. Oh and of course the WORLDS LONGEST BACK EVAR. Takes forever for him to warm up his back. His natural pose is always one hind leg resting. Oh and he has the world's saddest tail. Its really depressing. We try really hard to make it not suck. He likes when I have a long tailbag on him because then he can slap me with it when I'm behind him. He loves that game.
And that, my friends, is me and Riesy in MS paint. I was too lazy to draw arrows and write with the paintbrush. So therefore I typed it out.